Ready for EMDR but Not Getting It? Here’s Why It Happens

Why Haven’t You Started EMDR Yet? What Clients Need to Know

You’ve done the research. You’re ready to start EMDR therapy. You find a therapist who seems like the right fit and they tell you they “do EMDR”…
Yet weeks—maybe even months—go by, and you still haven’t done any EMDR.
What’s going on?

EMDR Is Growing Fast—But Not All EMDR Therapists Practice the Same Way

EMDR has become incredibly popular, and for good reason. It’s evidence-based, it’s effective, and for many people it works more quickly than traditional talk therapy. As EMDR becomes a trend in the therapy world, more therapists are signing up for basic EMDR training.

This is wonderful—it means more providers are aware of trauma-informed approaches.
But it also means something important: not all EMDR clinicians use EMDR as their primary modality.

Some therapists complete the basic training, then integrate small pieces of EMDR into their work without using the full protocol. Others may feel unsure or nervous about using EMDR consistently, especially because it’s an intensive, structured therapy that requires confidence and skill to facilitate safely.

Why This Matters for Your EMDR Experience

If you’re truly ready to start EMDR, you want a therapist who:

• Uses EMDR as their main treatment modality

• Conceptualizes cases through an EMDR-informed lens

• Feels confident guiding clients through deeper trauma work

• Keeps EMDR sessions moving rather than delaying phase-based work

• Has additional training or consultation beyond the basic level

EMDR is powerful—and you deserve a provider who is comfortable, grounded, and experienced in offering it. If you’re showing up ready to do EMDR, you shouldn’t be left wondering why you’re not actually doing EMDR. Don’t wait months to start the trauma work you’re ready for. Learn more about EMDR or schedule a consultation to get started.

EMDR Therapy in Issaquah, WA | Serving Sammamish, Bellevue, North Bend & Snoqualmie

Virtual across Washington State.

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Why Your Therapist Might Not Jump Straight Into EMDR (And Why That’s Actually a Good Thing)

You finally found an EMDR therapist and you’re ready to dive in. You’ve heard about the healing potential—the relief, the freedom—and you’re eager to get started. But now your therapist is asking you to do all these other things first? You might be feeling frustrated or even a little confused. Totally fair.

Here’s the thing: EMDR is a powerful approach. It can stir up deep emotions and bring old pain to the surface. When done thoughtfully, it helps your system process and release what’s been stuck for years. But if it’s rushed—or if your therapist skips some important groundwork—it can actually leave you feeling destabilized.

That’s why a skilled EMDR therapist won’t just jump in. They’ll take time to make sure you have a strong foundation first. This might include work like ego state therapy or Internal Family Systems (IFS)—approaches that help all the different parts of you feel ready and safe to engage in the process. Without that prep work, you might find yourself feeling “stuck” or looping through the same material instead of moving through it.

Sometimes, your therapist will also help you build internal and external resources before starting EMDR. This can mean identifying a calm or safe place, practicing grounding skills, or strengthening your support system. EMDR sessions can bring up a lot—it’s normal to feel tender or raw afterward. Having tools in place helps you come back down, re-regulate, and feel secure again.

So if your therapist is taking their time before jumping into EMDR, it’s not because they’re holding you back. It’s because they want you to succeed. A solid foundation makes the work safer, more effective, and ultimately—more healing.

If you’re curious about starting EMDR—or wondering how to prepare for it—I’d love to help you figure out what you need to feel ready. Whether that’s traditional EMDR therapy or a focused EMDR intensive, we can create a plan that fits your goals and your pace.

Learn more about EMDR or schedule a consultation to get started.

EMDR Therapy in Issaquah, WA | Serving Sammamish, Bellevue, North Bend & Snoqualmie

Virtual across Washington State.

Ready to Begin?

Reach out to schedule a 15 minute consultation.

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Trained vs. Certified EMDR Therapists: What’s the Real Difference?

By now, you’ve may have heard of Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)—maybe from your therapist, or maybe from celebs like Prince Harry, Lady Gaga, David Beckham or Miley Cyrus, who’ve talked openly about how it helped them heal. EMDR is growing in popularity for a reason: it works.

Because of that, more and more therapists are getting trained in it—which is awesome. But here’s where things can get confusing: what’s the difference between someone who’s trained in EMDR and someone who’s certified?

Let’s break it down.

A trained EMDR therapist has completed the basic training. That means they’ve learned the core protocol and can use EMDR in their sessions. Some may have just finished training, while others might have completed it years ago and integrated EMDR into their practice ever since.

A certified EMDR therapist, on the other hand, has gone several steps further. They’ve completed the basic training plus ongoing consultation with an EMDR-approved supervisor, additional advanced trainings, and continuing education every year to maintain certification. In short: certification means more experience, more supervision, and more refined skill.

That doesn’t mean a trained therapist isn’t great—there are plenty of skilled, compassionate EMDR therapists who stop at the basic training. But a certified therapist has gone the extra mile to deepen their expertise and stay current with best practices in trauma treatment.

If you’re considering EMDR therapy, it’s worth asking your therapist about their training and experience. Whether they’re trained or certified, what matters most is that you feel safe, seen, and supported in the process.

Ready to learn how EMDR can help you move through what’s been holding you back? Take a look at my Trauma/EMDR page.

EMDR Therapy in Issaquah, WA | Serving Sammamish, Bellevue, North Bend & Snoqualmie

Virtual across Washington State.

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Thrizer vs. Mentaya: How to Use Out-of-Network Benefits to Make Therapy More Affordable

If you’ve ever looked for a therapist who isn’t “in network,” you’ve probably had that ugh moment:
“I really want to work with them… but can I actually afford this?”

The good news is — there are tools that can make therapy way more affordable, even if your therapist doesn’t take insurance directly. Two of the most popular ones are Thrizer and Mentaya.

They both help you use your out-of-network benefits — but they work a little differently. Let’s break it down.

🧾 What “Out-of-Network” Actually Means

When your therapist isn’t contracted with your insurance, you pay their full session fee out of pocket.
But if your plan includes out-of-network (OON) coverage, you can often get reimbursed for a percentage of that cost — usually somewhere between 40–80%, depending on your deductible and plan.

Traditionally, you’d have to submit something called a superbill (a fancy receipt) to your insurance company and wait weeks or months for reimbursement.

That’s where Thrizer and Mentaya come in — they handle that messy insurance part for you.

💳 How Thrizer Works

Thrizer acts kind of like a payment platform for therapy. You pay for your sessions through Thrizer instead of directly to your therapist.

Here’s the cool part:

• Thrizer checks your out-of-network benefits right away.

• If your insurance covers part of the cost, Thrizer can let you just pay what you owe — similar to a copay — and they cover the rest up front.

• They handle the claim for you and wait for the insurance reimbursement, not you.

Basically, you get to pay less out-of-pocket at each session, and your therapist still gets paid their full rate right away.

It’s quick, easy, and can make therapy feel a lot more financially doable.

🧠 How Mentaya Works

Mentaya also helps you use your out-of-network benefits — but in a slightly different way.

• You still pay your therapist their full fee up front.

• Mentaya then automatically submits the claim to your insurance for reimbursement.

• Once your insurance processes it, you get reimbursed directly — usually by check or direct deposit.

Mentaya doesn’t “float” the difference like Thrizer does, but they make the claim process completely hands-off. No more filling out forms or chasing down your insurance company.

They even have a benefits checker tool that tells you exactly what your coverage looks like before you start therapy, so there are no surprises.

⚖️ So… Which One Should You Use?

It really depends on what you’re looking for.

If you’d rather pay less up front and have someone handle the insurance side completely for you, Thrizer is probably your best fit. They take care of everything behind the scenes so you can focus on therapy instead of paperwork.

If you prefer to pay your therapist directly and then get reimbursed later — but still want the process to be quick and hassle-free — Mentaya might be a better choice.

Both Thrizer and Mentaya let you check your out-of-network benefits before you even start, so you know exactly what your insurance covers.

And if your biggest goal is to reduce financial barriers and start therapy now, Thrizer’s pay-as-you-go model can make getting started a little easier on your wallet.

💬 The Bottom Line

Both Thrizer and Mentaya make therapy more accessible if your therapist is out-of-network — they just take slightly different routes to get there.

If you’ve been holding off on starting therapy because of cost or insurance confusion, tools like these can make a huge difference. They take the headache out of billing so you can focus on what really matters: your healing, your growth, and your life.

If you’re working with me, I’m happy to help you figure out which option makes the most sense for you and walk you through how to set it up. You can also easily submit your insurance claims yourself. A lot of insurance companies have an app or a website where you can submit claims. These are just resources if you can’t wait for the money to be returned or don’t want to worry about submitting superbills on your own.

EMDR Therapy in Issaquah, WA | Serving Sammamish, Bellevue, North Bend & Snoqualmie

Virtual across Washington State.

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Did Your Eating Disorder Save Your Life? | Trauma-Informed Eating Disorder Therapy in Issaquah

Did Your Eating Disorder Save Your Life?

That might sound like a strange question. Especially if you’ve spent time in treatment or therapy where your eating disorder was talked about like the enemy — something to defeat, destroy, or cut out.

And yes, your eating disorder caused harm. It hurt your body, your relationships, your sense of self. But it may have also saved your life at one point.

The Protective Side of an Eating Disorder

Here’s what I mean: depending on what was happening around you, your eating disorder might have been the only way you knew how to cope with unbearable pain. It helped you feel a sense of control when everything else felt chaotic. Maybe it even gave you a sense of belonging or peace. The intention wasn’t to destroy you — it was to help you survive.

The problem is, what once protected you eventually started hurting you. The coping mechanism that got you through the storm became the thing that kept you stuck in it.

When we talk about recovery, I think it’s important to move away from villainizing language. Because when we call a part of you “bad,” it can leave you feeling ashamed — like you chose this, or like some part of you is fundamentally broken.

Instead, I look at eating disorders through an ego state lens — meaning every part of you serves a function. I’m not talking about “multiple personalities,” but about the inner parts we all have: your inner child, your inner critic, your adult self, and the parts that try to protect you in their own ways.

Your eating disorder part tried to protect you, too. It just didn’t know a better way.

Moving Beyond Shame

In trauma-informed therapy, we don’t shame or villainize the parts of you that developed in response to pain. When we label an eating disorder as “bad,” it can leave you feeling like you’re bad — like you chose this or failed somehow. But that’s not how healing works.

As a trauma therapist in Seattle, I often use an ego state approach (think: parts work). This means we look at all the inner parts of you — your inner child, your inner critic, your adult self — and the parts that try to protect you in different ways.

Your eating disorder part was trying to protect you too. It just didn’t know a better way.

Healing Your Relationship with Food — and Yourself

Recovery isn’t about silencing that part or pretending it never existed. It’s about understanding why it showed up, what it needed, and helping it finally rest.

Through trauma-informed therapy and EMDR for eating disorder recovery, we can work together to untangle the pain underneath — so you can build a more peaceful relationship with food, your body, and yourself.

Because you don’t need to fight your eating disorder anymore. You just need to listen to what it was trying to say — and help that part of you finally heal.

EMDR Therapy in Issaquah, WA | Serving Sammamish, Bellevue, North Bend & Snoqualmie

Virtual across Washington State.

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