Why Trauma Shows Up as Anxiety or Perfectionism.
Why Trauma Shows Up as Anxiety and Perfectionism
In EMDR therapy, we say the past is present. The experiences you had in childhood often shape the way you react to stress, relationships, and expectations today. If you grew up being “the good kid”—the quiet one, the helper, the one who didn’t express too much—those survival strategies can show up later as perfectionism, anxiety, or people-pleasing.
Maybe you learned early on to shut down your emotions to take pressure off a parent. Maybe there was a sibling who needed more time, energy, or attention, and you didn’t want to create additional stress. So you adapted. You became independent. You got good grades. Adults said things like, “Oh, we never have to worry about her—she’s fine.”
But you weren’t fine. You were simply trained to put your needs last.
That pattern may have helped you succeed, but it also taught parts of you that love, safety, and stability come from being perfect—or from not needing anything at all. As an adult, these same protective strategies can become exhausting. You may find yourself working too hard, feeling anxious, or constantly trying to meet others’ expectations.
The good news is: you don’t have to keep carrying that pressure.
EMDR therapy helps you return to the memories where these beliefs were formed and gently unburden the parts of you that had to be perfect. Instead of operating from old survival strategies, you get to move through life with more freedom, self-trust, and ease. Schedule a free 15-20 minute consultation with me to learn more about the work we can do together.
EMDR Therapy in Issaquah, WA | Serving Sammamish, Bellevue, North Bend & Snoqualmie
Virtual across Washington State.